Posted in Life

Spam!

I get excited when I find new comments in my blog’s spam filter. For some reason they are hilarious to me. So here are some that have amused me in the past. Hopefully someone else can find a bit of entertainment in them, too.

 

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cartridge and tighten thee cartridge employing a wrench.
The factors behind these mega-clogs are wide ranging,
yet it’s almost always an international body. As much as a fifth oof most Friday takeaways aree apparently in the country’s
oldext takeaway favourite.

Asking questions are in fact pleasant thing if you are not understanding anything entirely, but this post provides nice understanding even.

 

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Posted in Life, Thoughts

Please Do Not

Have you ever been part of a conversation where a group of people are talking, and one person is part of the group but just listening, and someone abruptly turns to the listening person and says, “You’re very quiet”?

Speaking as someone who is regularly the quiet person in this scenario, please do not do this.

Look. First of all, I know I’m quiet. I’m often super aware. You don’t have to inform me.

Secondly, HOW ON EARTH DO YOU EXPECT ME TO RESPOND TO THIS? Really. I would like to know. Because other than an awkward, “Yeah, I guess,” I’ve never been able to come up with a response that’s not snarky and rude. Especially since I suddenly feel extremely uncomfortable, which makes it difficult to think.

Is that the goal? To make people uncomfortable? Because I don’t think it is. I think this is an attempt to make the quiet person feel noticed and included, which is a nice gesture, in theory.

BUT THIS IS NOT THE WAY TO DO IT.

Try asking them a question. Questions that require more than one-word answers are good if you want to make conversation. But really, you might even try just smiling at them. Or making sure to notice if they do talk. They’re more likely to appreciate attempts to make them feel comfortable enough to join the conversation than attempts to make them join the conversation.

Be more thoughtful and creative than, “You’re very quiet.”

Posted in Life

Happy Birthday, D! (The Fifth)

My friend D had a birthday on Sunday. She posts funny quotes on her blog from her friends on their birthdays, and at some point – five years ago, apparently – I decided that someone ought to do the same for her. And since I have a blog, doing it myself seemed logical. It’s also quite enjoyable to collect these. Enjoy some of the funny things D has said over the past year.

 

One of my no-longer-useful talents is knowing where all the local Chick-fil-As are.

But first, we should take the time to write our last wills and testaments, because none of us are going to survive this.

Yours is so much more hideous than mine. I wish mine was that hideous!

Do I want to take a three minute survey? No. I’m too busy talking about all my bad memories.

You know, they say that Jesus is the Lion of Judah. Technically, that would make him a cat.

That right there is my greatest fear. Among others.

I shopped for jeans on Sunday and was reminded that clothing is a consequence of the Fall.

I noted in my records that my life isn’t realistic. It’s so much better than that.

Your face is making too much noise!

Things to give thanks for: people have mostly stopped saying “totes.”

I feel like I’ve finally made it as a driver because I can tell when Google Maps is giving ridiculous directions and can drag it around until it makes sense. XD

This always bothered me. Because even though I didn’t know much, I knew that lambs didn’t hatch from eggs.

Who needs drugs to get a high on life when you can read through a quote collection?

The post office had labels, but I didn’t have your address. Ah, the costs of not having an iPhone. It was like I lived in the era in which the post office was built.

Writing a super awkward story right now. It’s sad that my real issue isn’t writing it, but fearing that the NSA is going to read it after I back it up in Google Docs.

Me as a kid: “Ugh, why do people project deeper meanings on written work? There’s no way the author meant this.”
Me now, writing: “It’s telling that they’re having this conversation in a hotel’s indoor swimming pool. The fluorescent lights and oddly blue water are unsettling, just like the issues they’re discussing.”

I wonder if there is anyone else in the world who has played more Apples to Apples rounds than we have.

“Amazon has so much data on everyone! They know all your beliefs, preferences, and interests!” people say.
Well, Amazon recommends season one of “Sex in the City” for me, so I think I’m safe.

GUYS. I am such a creep! Let me tell you my latest Facebook stalking success story.

My hobbies: Contemplating how DISTURBING most comments about Jesus’s blood are out of Christian cultural context.

The nice part about adding people to your friend group is that you get to regale them with traditional lore.

[About art she made in the past] The asparagus dancer from the rock song at the end of “Larry Boy and the Bad Apple” is one of my finest works.

I just impulse-bought a pair of Flash earrings from Etsy at 2:17 AM. What am I doing with my life?

But the professor probably cares more about me mentioning the exact number of billions of dollars that the US gave to Europe for postwar recovery than he cares about me using varied vocabulary. (It was $13 billion, by the way. Don’t ask me where they got this money. I do narrative history, not economics.)

It was gloriously well-written, too. I was like, “This reads like literature, aside from the fact that it’s about how I felt when I went into a church bathroom.”

He didn’t mean to insult me, but he did, and it was beautiful.

And now that we’re done with Political Thoughts with D, it’s time to move on to Blasphemous Thoughts with D.

Fun fact: There is 100% chance that I will cry in songs that mention Abraham. Well. WELL. Except for “Father Abraham Has Many Sons,” come to think of it.

YOU GUYS. Somebody wrote a GRAPHIC NOVEL about Dietrich Bonhoeffer, and I am so glad to be alive!!!!

Note to self: Bring peas into the conversation more often.

 

For more, see:
2014
2015
2016
2017

Posted in College, Life, Thoughts

Life is Strange

I have a very short post for you today because I just wanted to share a weeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiird realization I had over the weekend, and I haven’t gotten past the fact that it’s a thing enough to have further thoughts on the matter:

I have now been out of college longer than I was in college.

That is all.

Posted in Life

Bella!

Bella is my family’s dog. Half-lab, half-foxhound. She is 12 now. We still have to cover the furniture with stuff to keep her from sleeping on it when we aren’t home, but otherwise she’s a pretty good girl. Here are some pictures of her from the last few years, just because. They’re all from my phone, so the quality’s not fantastic when transferred to a computer, but you can still enjoy the cuteness.


She likes the closet and sleeps in there a lot.

Sometimes she hogs my yoga mat…

Every night she goes into the kitchen and makes it known that she wants her treat. Sometimes she barks at the cupboard. Sometimes she stares at it pointedly. Sometimes she sits in front of it.

I felt like I should unfold the blanket for her, but she was fast asleep.

Pretty sure this was Thanksgiving Day.

 

Bonus!

Picture of a picture, but this is Bella the day we brought her home.

 

Second bonus!

Once upon a time I used to draw occasionally.

Posted in Thoughts

On Book Adaptations

Percy Jackson and the Olympians is one of my favorite book series. It’s one of the few things I feel like rereading allllllllllllllllllllll the time. I am, in fact, currently rereading the first book, The Lightning Thief, because there is a new illustrated version and I couldn’t resist. (And I must say, the illustrations are some of the best I’ve ever seen for actually paying attention to the details in the text and using them. I am impressed.)

In this series, Greek mythology is around in modern times, and modern demigods have adventures and save the world and all that fun stuff. I enjoy it very much. (There’s a second series, The Heroes of Olympus, which is also excellent. Can’t recommend the ones that come after that.)

As often happens with books that become popular, they made a movie of The Lightning Thief. I have watched it. It’s not the best movie. And it’s generally agreed that it’s among the worst book adaptations ever. Not only were there a ton of changes to the story, it didn’t capture the spirit of the book at all. They tried again with the second book in the series, The Sea of Monsters, and it did a tiny bit better, but not enough to save the movie series.

But. A musical of The Lightning Thief was created recently.

I have not seen it, sadly. I want to. I really want to. But I’ve listened to the cast recording many times now.

It captures the spirit of the book amazingly. I appreciate it.

AND THE DETAILS.

They got many big things right, but they also went above and beyond that. Someone obviously wrote the song lyrics with the book in front of them. Some things I have noticed while reading this time that made it into the musical:

  • The book’s first line is, “Look. I didn’t want to be a half-blood,” and this is Percy’s first line in the musical.
  • Book: “Being a half-blood is dangerous. It’s scary. Most of the time, it gets you killed in painful, nasty ways.” Musical: “Being a half-blood, it’s scary, and mostly gets you killed in very nasty ways.”
  • “You got a problem with that?”
  • Book: “Like he’s ‘Big Three’ material,” Clarisse said as she pushed me toward one of the toilets. “Yeah, right. Minotaur probably fell over laughing, he was so stupid looking.” Musical: “Maybe the Minotaur died of a case of laughing too hard from seeing your stupid face.”
  • “Tough first day?”
  • Book: “Perseus Jackson,” Mrs. Dodds said, in an accent that was definitely from somewhere farther south than Georgia. Musical: Mrs. Dodds has an overdramatic southern accent, in a setting where most characters don’t.

One of my favorites that I already knew about is a line Percy says in the musical: “If I try to sing, it’ll probably cause an avalanche.” I first noticed the line because it’s fun and ironic because the actor’s voice is beautiful (see video below, which was my introduction to the fact that this musical existed). But then I discovered that Percy says this in the last book in the series.

The. Last. Book.

The people who adapted this story obviously knew it and loved it. This is how you adapt one form of art to another.

Posted in Christianity, Life

Great Books I’ve Read in 2018 – Part 2

Brief update on last week: Turns out I was sick. I’m still working on getting over that. It seemed like a cold that was never horrible but lasted forever. But I’m getting better.

Anyway. On to the books.

Good Night Tales: A Family Treasury of Read-Aloud Stories by C.S. Fritz
I encountered this book while babysitting. The family had it out from the library. After that I had to go find it to read for myself.
It is beautiful. In every way.
It is a collection of retellings of Bible stories, except retellings is not the right word at all. It’s more like the author took concepts from Bible passages and let his imagination run with them. The book is unique, creative, nothing like any book of Bible stories you’ve ever read. The illustrations are also lovely. Highly recommended.

The Science of Interstellar by Kip S. Thorne
Interstellar is a sci-fi movie that came out in 2014. This is a book written by the physicist who was the science adviser for the movie. I know next to nothing about physics, but I still found most of this book understandable. Often people who know so much about such heady subjects cannot teach them well to us mere mortals who know nothing, but Kip Thorne is an exception. I learned a great deal (useful, since I read it for writing research), and I enjoyed doing it. I definitely suggest watching the movie before reading this book, as the book assumes you know the story.

Edgar Gets Ready for Bed by Jennifer Adams
Someone donated this to my library, and the children’s librarian and I fell in love. Edgar  is the raven from Edgar Allan Poe’s poem The Raven, but he’s a young raven. The book starts out, “Once upon a midnight dreary… ‘Edgar, finish your vegetables!'” It’s cute and fun.

Love at Last Sight: Thirty Days to Grow and Deepen Your Closest Relationships by Kerry Shook and Chris Shook
Full of Biblical principles and practical advice, this book on relationships does not limit itself to just marriage or just parents and children or just friendship or just anything. It’s designed to be helpful with any sort of close relationship. I did not actually do all the journaling assignments and things included with each chapter, but it was still a useful read.

Fortunately, the Milk by Neil Gaiman
A father goes out to buy milk for breakfast. He returns home and regales his two children with stories of his adventures on his way back from the store. He encounters aliens, a time traveling dinosaur, and all sorts of other absurdities. Through it all, he carefully keeps track of the milk. It’s hilarious and a lot of fun.
Did it all actually happen? That’s for you to decide.

For more book recommendations, click here.