Ambition

Creating a life that reflects your values and satisfies your soul is a rare achievement. In a culture that relentlessly promotes avarice and excess as the good life, a person happy doing his own work is usually considered an eccentric, if not a subversive. Ambition is only understood if it’s to rise to the top of some imaginary ladder of success. Someone who takes an undemanding job because it affords him the time to pursue other interests and activities is considered a flake. A person who abandons a career in order to stay home and raise children is considered not to be living up to his potential. As if a job title and salary are the sole measure of human worth. You’ll be told in a hundred ways, some subtle and some not, to keep climbing and never be satisfied with where you are, who you are, and what you’re doing. There are a million ways to sell yourself out, and I guarantee you’ll hear about them. To invent your own life’s meaning is not easy, but it’s still allowed, and I think you’ll be happier for the trouble. – Bill Watterson

I love this quote. I think it’s profound and important. I tried to select just a small part of it, but I couldn’t. It addresses a lot, but I’m going to apply it to one small example.

I write a lot. Obviously there’s my blog post every week, but I write stories, too. Many of them. Some aren’t good at all. Some are okay. A few, if I do say so myself, are quite good.

But I’ve never had anything published. I would like to. I have one particular short story that I want to polish up and submit to some magazines or something. I would love to experience the satisfaction of a stranger deciding my work is worth sharing with others.

But that may never happen. And that’s okay.

I don’t write because I need recognition or success. I write because I enjoy it. It’s fun. It’s creative. I learn things about myself and about people in general. It’s something I can share with my friends. It doesn’t need to be more than that.

Sometimes people don’t see the point in doing something just because. Case in point: every time the subject of writing comes up, my brother asks if I’m ever going to do anything with what I’ve written. Maybe I will; maybe I won’t. But I’m not going to stop just because he disapproves.

It’s okay to find meaning in activities that don’t earn you money. Honest.

Music!

It’s been a somewhat annoying day. Not for any big reason. I’m kind of tired. The entire second half of the book I was reading didn’t go the way I wanted it to. I ended up with a headache. Little things like that. But as a result, I don’t feel like writing anything complicated.

But I did stop at the library. (Shoving that book into the return bin was satisfying.) While there, I picked up one of the few Yellowcard (which is my favorite band) albums I do not yet own. It felt rather appropriate for my day, because it’s what I refer to as their, “EVERYONE LISTEN TO HOW BITTER WE ARE!!!” album, but that’s not why I wanted to check it out. The reason is perhaps a bit odd: I’m developing a new character for a story, and he informed me that he likes Yellowcard, too. So we’re having fun listening to the entire collection, though we have different favorite albums.

Sometimes I realize that not everyone creates characters and talks about them as though they’re real people. If you don’t, you’ll just have to bear with me.

Anyway. Since I don’t feel like writing anything complicated, and since I’ve been on a Yellowcard kick, I decided I would share a few of my favorite songs from my favorite band.

It sounds so much like a story. Which is one of the things I love about Yellowcard.

 

Adorable. And very different from the typical love song.

 

This song is important. I have a long story currently titled Paper Walls because this song fits it so well.

 

The violin at the beginning. <3 And, “If it’s the past you love, then that’s where you can stay,” is a fabulous line.

 

Also important. And so hopeful!

This turned out to be a different kind of complicated, because it was difficult to narrow down. This is by no means an exhaustive list. There are other songs I love just as much, but I tried to stick with no more than one from an album to provide a range of how their style has developed (but obviously I was only somewhat successful). If you happen to be interested in more, I would be thrilled to provide recommendations.

I Can’t Ask You to do That

Once upon a time, King David had a group of mighty men. They did some pretty epic things.

There was a time when David was living in a cave and the Philistines had a garrison of soldiers at Bethlehem, which was where David grew up. David said, apparently to no one in particular, “Oh, that someone would give me water to drink from the well of Bethlehem that is by the gate!”

Three of his mighty men were like, “Hey. We can do that! Let’s go get some of this water for David and cheer him up.” So they did. They fought through the Philistines and came back to David, all still in one piece, mission accomplished.

I imagine they were pretty excited to give that water to David. They’d gone to a lot of effort to bring him a surprise they knew for a fact he wanted. Surely he would be pleased.

What did David do with that water?

He poured it out.

On the ground.

He had a reason that sounded nice, at least: “Far be it from me before my God that I should do this. Shall I drink the lifeblood of these men? For at the risk of their lives they brought it.”

I would have been so miffed. “DUDE! Really?! Yeah, we risked our lives, but we chose to because we cared about you and wanted you to enjoy this water, not DUMP IT ON THE GROUND. Come on, man!”

Hopefully these three mighty men were more noble than I am and appreciated the sentiment. But I really can’t imagine David’s actions went over well.

(If you care to read this story minus my creative liberty, it is found in 2 Samuel 23:13-17 and 1 Chronicles 11:15-19.)

I’m sure you’re familiar with the phrase, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” This also comes from the Bible: Acts 20:35. It’s certainly true and a good reminder. But here’s the thing: If no one will receive, no one can give.

People do not like allowing others to give to them, and I don’t understand it. I’m not just talking about giving things. Also time, help with projects… Sacrifices in general.

Have you ever noticed that people who say, “I can’t ask you to do that,” never asked? They’re always protesting something another person volunteered to do. Then there’s the oft-heard, “You don’t have to do that.”

Let me explain to you a thing. For the most part, if someone cares about you, they are not giving because they have to. They are giving because your happiness is important to them, and contributing to it, in ways large or small, brings them joy and makes them feel useful.

Another thing: Sometimes people give in ways you cannot repay. That’s okay. Now, selfishness? That is not okay. But inability is. Giving is not a math problem; you don’t have to give back to the same people in exact quantities to make things come out right. Sometimes life makes that impossible. But you can love them, appreciate them, and give to others where you can.

(Disclaimer: I realize that trying to say no to unexpected gifts is kind of the norm in our society. And sometimes you may have excellent reasons for saying no. Use discretion. But don’t turn generous offers into a drawn out who-gets-to-be-nicer battle without good reason.)

Be generous with what God has given you in money, talents, time, whatever. Allow other people to be generous, too. Thank them. Thank God for them. Don’t pour the water they bring you on the ground.

Life Tips for Short People

It is a fact universally acknowledged that a short girl in pursuit of something above her head must be in want of some young man to get it down for her. – Kendra E. Ardnek

I am a short person. Not the shortest of the short people I know, but definitely not tall. Here are a few ideas that might make your life easier if you are also a short person.

• Embrace the short jokes. You’ll be much happier. And in the process, you may annoy the people who told the jokes intending to annoy you, and that’s always great.
• Take it a step farther and tell short jokes. My personal favorite is, “You’ve gotta hand it to short people sometimes… because they can’t reach.”
• Learn to climb. It will help you reach things. (Within reason. Don’t take this as permission to unnecessarily endanger yourself. Or to climb up shelves in stores. That would probably be frowned upon.)
• Sometimes accept that you can’t reach something and recruit a taller person to hand it to you.
• Swing your feet in those chairs where you can’t touch the floor. It’s fun.
• Acquire a step stool. Seriously. Now. Buy one. Make one. Beg one. Don’t steal though. Or borrow, because you won’t be giving it back. Now put it in your kitchen. Leave it there. Revel in the newly accessible cupboard space.
• Appreciate the advantages of being closer to the ground:
  • You don’t have as far to fall.
  • Or as far to bend to pick up things you dropped.
  • It’s easier to get down on a child’s level and play with them.

Basically, enjoy your life as a short person. (And if you’re a tall person or an in-between-height person, enjoy your life as that; I just don’t have experience to speak from.)

Names Are Weird

Basically, the title of this post is the conclusion. I have no profound thoughts about why it is, just some illustrations I feel like sharing.

Illustration One:
I’ve never been good at naming things. I did not name baby dolls or stuffed animals when I was little. And I have lots of stories in my head, and most of the characters in them do not have names. Mostly they only get names when I’m going to write about them.

A while ago, a couple characters were having a baby. I went looking for names I thought the parents might pick and ended up with Alana. Had I been naming the baby the way I normally name characters, she would not have been Alana; it’s not the sort of thing I’d have chosen to go with her personality. Yet somehow it works.

Illustration Two:
Fun fact that will make this illustration much easier to write: my name is Emily. I like my name a lot. I think it fits me well. However, with internet friends, I have always gone by Zella, which came from a story my friends Maria and Nicole and I created. I’ve met some of my internet friends in real life now, and they know my name. Two in particular I’ve spent a lot of time with. I still use the names I knew them by online. D now calls me Emily. GG, however, has stuck with Zella. (Then there’s Gaby, whom I technically met online first, but I didn’t know her at all at that point, then we met in real life, then we got to know each other on the internet. She originally called me Emily but now mostly uses Zella. It’s kind of weird and complicated but cool.)

Hopefully that paragraph made sense.

Moving on. A few weeks ago, GG and I were chatting on Facebook. We were actually discussing place names at the time, and I commented that names are weird. She replied, “Indeed they are, Emily.”

I saw the name in the message before I read the whole thing, and I wondered who she was talking about. Then I realized, “Oh… That’s ME!”

Then I responded with these, because sometimes we communicate in gifs:

GG: “I had to work hard to convince myself to do that. I think it was worth it. Good reactions. XD”

It felt so wrong. Which, objectively, is strange. There are many strange things GG could call me that would not make me think twice. Moriarty. Rich. Librarian. Mum. (All long stories.) But the name that I expect to hear from pretty much everyone else in the world isn’t okay.

Illustration Three:
I have a thing for slightly unusual boys’ names that are also words. I realized this a few years ago. I have not yet diagnosed the reason. But it is consistent. Drew. Blaze. Bran. I have a character who goes by the nickname Trick. There’s a character in the Ranger’s Apprentice series named Halt, and I just love it.

And have a couple related quotes that I really like; this post was already a ramble, so why not?

“That’s a lovely idea, Diana,” said Anne enthusiastically. “Living so that you beautify your name, even if it wasn’t beautiful to begin with…making it stand in people’s thoughts for something so lovely and pleasant that they never think of it by itself.” – From Anne of Avonlea by L.M. Montgomery

“A name can’t begin to encompass the sum of all her parts. But that’s the magic of names, isn’t it? That the complex, contradictory individuals we are can be called up complete and whole in another mind through the simple sorcery of a name.” – From Dreams Underfoot by Charles de Lint

To sum up: names are weird.