Posted in Life, Writings

The Not-Quite-True Tuesday News

Today in notable occasions, this is my 200th post on this blog. *Throws confetti* That’s a lot of writing. O.o In honor of this milestone, I thought I would take us back to Saturday, April 1, 2006, when the very first Tuesday News was published.

The Tuesday News did not begin life as a blog, you see; it was a newsletter created as an April Fools’ Day school assignment and sent to various friends and family members. I decided to keep it up,  and I sent one out for the first Tuesday of each month for a little more than a year.

Given the nature of April Fools’ Day – and the fact that April 1 was not on a Tuesday that year – that first newsletter was dubbed The Not-Quite-True Tuesday News. It is here reproduced for your enjoyment, spelling and grammar unedited.

Life on Mars!
By Professor Wako

Hello, everyone! My name is Professor Wako and I have some amazing news to share with you. I have discovered life on Mars!
Not long ago I invented what I call The Life Detecting Machine, TLDM, for short. This small mechanism will detect life anywhere. I then sent it up to Mars, for I have always been sure there was life up there. I soon found out I was right!
My TLDM sent me numerous photos of Martians doing the same things we do. Eating, playing, even cleaning house! I have sent many of these photographs to different places and soon, everyone will know that there really is life on Mars!

ChickenLess Killing, More Eating!
By Learna D. Facts

Hello, all you chicken lovers out there! Good news! Farmers are now having to kill less chickens thanks to Farmer Brown.
Farmer Brown, after many years of study and hard work, has finally succeeded in breeding chickens with four legs and four wings. When asked why he did this, Farmer Brown told me, “I always liked chickens and didn’t like having to kill so many. Now I don’t have to; there are plenty of legs and wings to go around. I still keep a few normal ones around for old times sake, though.”
When asking what other people thought, I found a variety of opinions. Mr. Snob told me, “This farmer guy should mind his own business. Maybe he likes chickens, but I sure don’t. The less chickens, the better!” A certain Mrs. Cluck had a very different view of the matter. “I think it’s just wonderful, dearie,” she said. “I just love chickens! Eating them and seeing them. Less killing, more eating, I say!”
And so, for some, this story has a happy ending, and for others, just the opposite.

The Weather Corner
Brought to you by Weather Maniac

Tomorrow will be sunny and warm with a few blizzards likely. High’s will be in the upper 30’s and lows in the mid 80’s. Average temperature will be about 100 degrees.

Movie of the Month (MOM)

This month the MOM is The Life Cycle of a Leaf. This movie shows five different leaves growing. The best use I found for it was that when kids want to watch TV instead of doing their homework, just say, “All right, you can watch this,” and put it in! kids will go right back to there desks! Unless, of course, they are doing a project on the subject, and even then I have known some who would rather read their textbooks. Be sure to watch this movie, I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.

Wacky Word Search

ACT               QUILTWord Search
BIDE               READ
DESIGN           RIDE
DRAW             SING
FISH                SWIM
HIKE               WALK
PLAY               WRITE

Letters to the editor

We would very much like to print some letters, but, seeing as this is our first issue, we have none. If you have any thing you would like to tell us, please write us.

Thanks for reading! ‘Bye!


3 thoughts on “The Not-Quite-True Tuesday News

  1. This made me smile. I remember that first edition well. The movie recommendation is my favorite part. Congratulations on 200 posts!

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