Posted in Life, Thoughts

Anti-Bucket List

I don’t really have an official bucket list. I suppose I could come up with one if I tried. But in searching for blog post ideas today, because I didn’t really have anything I wanted to write about, I came across this suggestion, and it sounded more fun. So here’s a list of ten things I do not want to experience before I die.

  • Jury Duty
    Spending my day deciding whether someone I do not know should be punished for something they did? I can think of few things I would rather not do with my time.
  • Have Appendicitis
    It’s one of the few things I’m vaguely paranoid about. I feel like it would happen under THE most inconvenient circumstances possible.
  • Be in an Actual Debate
    Um, can you say, “Terrifying”? Because I can. Try it: terr-i-fy-ing.
  • Fail a Class
    Or a test. Or any such academic thing. Sure, it would give me an opportunity to use the Studio C ECON 101 speech, which might be kind of cool. But not cool enough to be worth it.
  • Get a Speeding Ticket
    I dreamt recently that I got pulled over for speeding. I didn’t actually get a ticket though; I apparently appeared pathetic and distressed enough that the officer let me go with a warning. But I woke up thinking it had been real and was rather stressed.
  • Climb Mount Everest
    Nature is nice. I like mountains. I’m sure the views are spectacular. But this would take a whole lot of the sort of effort I do not enjoy. So I think I’ll be just fine never having this experience.
  • Butcher a Chicken
    Or any animal, really. I appreciate that other people do this for me. But I don’t even like squishing any bug that is big enough that I can tell I’m squishing it.
  • Reread As I Lay Dying
    In my novel class today, we were coming up with monsters (because we’re reading Frankenstein). A friend and I invented one that is made of boring paperback books, which it forces people to read. We decided it could be entirely made of copies of As I Lay Dying.
  • Be in a Boxing Match
    One: Ow. Two: I like my face shaped the way it is, thank you very much. Three: Ow.
  • Encounter a Tarantula Anywhere Other Than a Zoo
    Enough said.

2 thoughts on “Anti-Bucket List

  1. I must agree on “As I Lay Dying” I can’t imagine the troubled mind that actually dreamed up that sorry tale. The only reason anyone would ever read it is because some professor made them. It is second only to the Grapes of Wrath mainly because the GOWrath is soooo much longer.

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