Because every time you see them happy, you remember how sad they’re going to be. And it breaks your heart. Because what’s the point of them being happy now if they’re going to be sad later? The answer is, of course, because they’re going to be sad later. – The Doctor in “The Doctor, The Widow, and the Wardrobe”
The problem with writing long stories by hand is that then you have to type them up. I say this because it’s what I’m currently in the middle of doing. But that’s okay; I really prefer writing stories by hand, though my hand may not always agree with me.
I wasn’t very nice to the main characters in this story; they don’t have very happy lives. But I just started, so the scenes I’m currently transferring to the computer take place when they’re still just kids. At this point, though their lives aren’t perfect, they’re still happy.
And that makes me sad because I know exactly what’s coming.
Sure, I kind of knew what was coming when I wrote the scenes in the first place. But not exactly. Things happened in the writing that I hadn’t expected. This time through, I’ve already lived it with them.
I know who’s going to make a seemingly innocent mistake that will haunt him the rest of his life. I know who’s never really going to be okay. I love these characters, and I’ve seen the worst days of their lives. And for some reason, that makes re-watching the best days painful.
This morning it occurred to me to wonder if God feels that way sometimes. He loves us, and he knows exactly what will happen. He knows the mistakes we’ll make, and he knows the things that should be good lessons for us that we won’t cope with well. While he’s watching the best days of our lives, he knows that the worst days are coming, and he knows what they are.
I’m sure there’s a lesson to be drawn from this. But to be honest, what it is hasn’t occurred to me yet. For today, it’s just a not-very-cheerful observation.