Posted in College, Life, Thoughts

I Wish I Were Irresponsible

What about now? How ’bout tonight?
Baby, for once let’s don’t think twice.
Let’s take that spin that never ends
That we’ve been talkin’ about.
What about now? Why should we wait?
We can chase these dreams down the Interstate,
And be long gone ‘fore the world moves on
And makes another round.
What about now?
– Lonestar

I currently have a car at my disposal for a few weeks. There’s a part of me that would love to just take off – nowhere in particular, no plans, no agenda. Just go. Probably west, so I don’t run into the hurricane.

That part of me would also love to play hooky, even without going anywhere in particular. (I wonder where that phrase came from. It’s rather strange.) Skip class and chapel all the time and never turn in homework when it’s due… Generally be one of those students that make me shake my head.

This part would also love to be set loose in a bookstore or on thinkgeek.com with a credit card. And max it out. And then go get another credit card.

If this part of me were stronger, I’d be able to have a real Lord of the Rings movie marathon (of the extended editions, of course) instead of watching them over several weeks. I could probably sleep in until noon sometimes without being bothered at all.

Unfortunately, even thinking about wanting to do this sort of thing sets off alarm bells in my brain, which then starts scolding. No! Do you know how many things could go wrong?! You might get lost or run out of gas; you’d certainly worry people! And if you skip class and don’t do homework, you’ll just fall farther behind and end up more stressed! And spending all that money on books… where would you put them all? And do you know how many other useful things you could do in the nine plus hours it would take to watch all three Lord of the Rings movies?!

You get the gist.

It’s rather annoying. Because the sensible part of my brain is way stronger than the irresponsible part, it generally prevents almost anything that might be irresponsible. The most I can usually get away with is playing some Minesweeper to put off homework or impulsively buying songs from iTunes (but only if I have a gift card). They can’t seem to even find a happy medium very often.

This is probably one reason my favorite characters in books and movies are often the type who can dash off on adventures on the spur of the moment and not feel any pangs from their conscience. It’s why I go by the name of my character Zella online – Zella is me without such a strong sensible part. Because really, who likes the really sensible characters? I usually don’t!

And yet, even as I write this, my brain is telling me I wouldn’t really like to be irresponsible; look at all the problems it would cause! What would people think? *Sigh* Silly brain.

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4 thoughts on “I Wish I Were Irresponsible

  1. Once in a while you have to do something a little irresponsible. The trick is that it needs to be something safe and without too dire consequences. You usually find that you come back to your responsibilitieswith alot more zest! You just have to make sure it doesn’t turn into a habit. I’m not worried about that happening to you. Don’t tell your parents I said this. LOL

  2. I keep my irresponsibleness to midnight drives to the Wal-Mart for ice cream, or staying up till some ridiculous hour of the morning reading and thinking (when I can semi-afford to), or watching a movie on a laptop with friends in the middle of the gigantic soccer field. Nothing too harmful, but still impulsive, and it makes for good college memories. :)

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